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Happy to be here
Everywhere you go in this fine country, people ask “How are you?” Or something similar; viz. “How’s it going?” “How ya’ doin’?” “How’s it going?”
It’s an automatic question of polite intent with dubious sincerity, at best. Frankly, I hate it. I almost never ask it myself, because frankly I do not care how you are doing most of the time. And trust me, quite often you don’t want to know how I’m doing, either.
Many years ago, I learned from my mentor Kirk F. an excellent, honest and forthright answer to this stupid custom: “Happy to be here”.
Think about it. It can have so many meanings! And it is almost always true.
“How are you?”
“Happy to be here.”
People usually snicker when I respond this way, often because I do so in a dry or downtrodden tone, but I am eager to follow-up: yes, I am happy to be here. Happy to be here, wherever “here” might be, because if you’re asking me this, the both of us are probably in a place that is far greater than many other places.
At work: I’m happy to be here, because it means I have a job, and income, and health insurance, and I’m working in a climate-controlled, indoor environment with access to toilets and food and water and security guards.
Nothing yet
The second question one often automatically hears from someone arriving at work in the TV news business is “What’s going on?” As opposed to the above, this is an honest question that really does need to be answered in some form or fashion. However, it’s kind of silly to ask considering all the things that are usually going on where I work, and I am guilty of asking it almost every day regardless.
From time to time, though, when someone asks me what is going on, there isn’t all that much to report, relatively speaking. Therefore, I safely answer: “Nothing yet.”
Again, it’s all about being honest while guarding the possibility of the situation shifting. “Nothing yet” implies that, while there isn't any activity of interest at the moment, that could change suddenly and dramatically at any time.
You get what you pay for
I probably say this more than anything else lately, because it’s frequently applicable. It’s also true.
So we’re understaffed this week because too many people are out, and not enough positions could be filled, and as a result productivity is way down and things aren’t getting done correctly or at all? You get what you pay for.
You say your department’s new hires are all straight out of college and they don’t have enough relevant experience, and they’re not doing their jobs properly? You get what you pay for.
Your critical network system keeps crashing all the time, costing you precious time and resources? You get what you pay for.
You’re not impressed by my uninspired blog entries? You get what you pay for.
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