I DEEPLY REGRET a decision I made 13 years ago.
In November 2000, Nevada held a referendum vote to amend the state constitution, limiting marriage to being only between a man and a woman. It was a de facto same-sex marriage ban, one of the very first in the United States. Only Alaska implemented a ban earlier, by two years.
In that election, I voted in favor of the ban.
Ultimately, my vote didn’t matter, because it passed overwhelmingly and was reaffirmed two years later. But for the rest of my life, I will feel guilty for supporting institutionalized discrimination, and by extension, hatred.
My excuse, if I may refer to it as such, was that I was a very different person at that point in my life. I was a staunchly conservative Baptist Christian and an active member of the Young Republicans chapter at the University of Nevada. The church explicitly taught that the sexual union of two men or two women was sin, and therefore legal allowance of gay marriage was tantamount to state-sponsored sodomy.
But even then, I felt a little bit guilty. I had doubts.
Was this really the right thing to do? What difference did it make? I could at least, at that time, rationalize my opposition to abortion; a human life was at stake! But why did we have to interfere in the private lives of gay couples? And why was this such a big deal even though it didn’t merit much mention in the Bible?
A lot has changed since then. I am now a non-partisan, libertarian, pro-choice atheist in full support of marriage equality. And by writing this, I am absolving my guilt and making things right.
It’s not too late. And people can change for the better.
I want to be on the right side of history, but not for my sake. I want to be right precisely because it is right and just.
As you have no doubt heard by now, the United States Supreme Court today begins two days of oral arguments on the constitutionality of same-sex marriage bans. It is possible that when their rulings are handed down, the Court will effectively legislate marriage equality for all. At worst, they will send the matter back to the states, leaving us in a bit of limbo for a while. No decision will effectively ban same-sex marriage, but it is possible the existing bans will have legal wiggle room for a while.
There is good reason to believe the Court will decide not to overturn California’s Proposition 8 for entirely legal reasons -- there is no “injured party” per se that can justifiably challenge the lower courts’ overturning of the law. Georgetown law professor David Cole does an excellent job of explaining this in today’s New York Times.
Also at stake is the reprehensible and deceptively-named Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as only between heterosexual couples at the federal level. History will long remember the names of the Republican lawmakers who are arguing on behalf of keeping this discriminatory law in place.
The fight is far from over. Today and tomorrow are short oral arguments before the court: just one hour each. We already know with a fair amount of certainty how most of the justices will rule. Justices Kagan, Sotomayor, Breyer and Ginsburg will likely side with marriage equality. Scalia and Alito will probably say it’s a states issue and be done with it. Clarence Thomas, as usual, will say nothing and go with whatever Scalia tells him to do. Anthony Kennedy and Chief Justice John Roberts the wild-cards who could swing the rulings either way. We probably won’t know how they rule until summer.
That’s why it is so important that every one of us who believes in marriage equality must continue the fight, by voting for candidates who support equal rights, and letting our representatives know what we want at every turn.
If you are undecided, or opposed to marriage equality, I invite you to read and research more, and consider: is there a justifiable, legal reason to continue discriminating against same-sex couples? (Please note, “Because the Bible says so” is not such an argument. The Bible also condones slavery and executing rape victims who do not scream loudly enough to be heard during their assault. You should read it sometime.)
- It’s bad for kids? Actually, pediatricians this month said kids raised by gay couples benefit when their parents marry.
- It’s bad for society? How does two people committing to spend their lives together harm the rest of us?
- It’s bad for “traditional” marriage? Why, because the nearly 50 percent divorce rate might actually increase under different circumstances?
- It’s a redefinition of marriage? Oh, you mean like previous bans on mixed-race unions?
Still in doubt? Talk to an openly gay person. Think you don’t know any? Ask around. You might be surprised.
And seriously, do you want to be on the same side as these guys?
