Have you ever purchased or used Axe Body Spray, shampoo, or other personal care products?
Have you ever made any sort of consumer spending decision based upon an advertisement you saw during an NFL game?
Have you ever posted to Facebook a photo of yourself, shirtless, taken by pointing your phone camera at a bathroom mirror?
Is the average amount of time you spend on your hair while preparing to leave your house for ordinary activities (work, school, buying groceries, etc.) greater than 60 seconds?
Can you name any songs by Nickelback?
Have you ever, even once, spent time in a tanning bed?
Do you consider wearing a gold chain around your ample neck a serious fashion statement?
Do you believe a gym workout does not actually count unless you tweet about it before and after?
Do you have anywhere on your body tattoos of either indecipherable “tribal” banding or a Mandarin character you chose because you thought it “looked cool” and which you tell women means “warrior” or “luck” when, in fact, it probably means something more like “fountain pen”?
Do you have, in your closet, any clothing branded Affliction or Ed Hardy?
Are said shirts at least two sizes too small for your sculpted figure?
Is your name Josh Hamilton?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above, you are almost certainly a douchebag.
READ THIS
What will life be like in the future... all the way in the year 2013? The Los Angeles Times posed that question 25 years ago, and their guesses are pretty much what you would expect.
Not content to be the worst state in America in nearly every meaningful quality of life metric, Mississippi is looking to preemptively prohibit bans on soft drink sizes.
Not content to be the most small-minded and racist state in America in several categories, Idaho is looking to ban depictions of premarital sex in television programming.
Not content to make Idaho look like a bastion of progressivism and human rights advances, Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood is clamping down even harder on women in response to a United Nations directive.
WATCH THIS
Seriously. Watch this. Un-freaking-believable.
