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| MAXIMUS PONTIFEX CONVENTUNM |
You are no doubt familiar with the basics: the 115 voting members of the College of Cardinals are now gathered in secret to choose one from among their number to lead the church for the next several years, with their decision announced by a puff of white smoke from the roof of the Sistine Chapel.
That and other odd traditions surrounding this momentous event got me to thinking: why, exactly, to the cardinals need to vote on a new Pope, anyway? I mean, consider the following essential elements of Catholic belief:
- Jesus of Nazareth, the Son of God, was born to a woman who was not impregnated by conventional means, but rather by the Holy Spirit of God through a divine miracle, thus becoming the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God.
- This same Mary remained a virgin all her life (in spite of the fact the Gospel clearly states she married Joseph and they had children together).
- When taking part in the Eucharist (communion), the faithful are literally drinking the literal blood of Christ and eating his literal flesh; the wine and wafers become his body and blood through a process known as “transubstantiation”.
- Simon Peter, a fisherman from Galilee and contemporary of Jesus, was the first Pope, and every Pope since has been his official chosen successor. (Incidentally, Peter was also the first Pope to be executed, tradition holds, by upside-down crucifixion.)
- Once named Pope, the Pope is granted Papal Infallibility by the Holy Spirit, meaning he cannot be wrong in his edicts or make any errors when speaking or writing on the word of God.
Okay, so granted all those things, ESPECIALLY the last one...
...why do we need a cloistered group of elderly males in matching outfits and large hats, meeting in secret, to choose the next Pope?
What I mean is, shouldn’t GOD be the one making this decision? I mean, this is his prime representative on Earth we’re talking about here.
Why not just have everyone gather in Saint Peter’s Square at an appointed time, in full view of the public and television cameras and everything, and have one of the cardinals pray, “Our Lord and Heavenly Father, please show us a sign right now whom you have chosen as your new Pope, Heir to the Throne of Saint Peter, Vicar of Christ, Bishop of Rome, Primate of Italy. We will accept your choice unconditionally and listen to whatever he says on your behalf.”
I’m guessing the reason they won’t do that is because NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN.
Heck, just give me a LITTLE mysticism in choosing your new wearer of fancy hats, eh guys? Maybe drop a feather from the Cappela Paolina and say whomever it lands on is the new Pope? Just give me SOMETHING, ANYTHING to show that the hand of God actually has a say in this. I mean, he raised Jesus from the dead, for Christ’s sake. He flooded the world and saved several million species from extinction by putting them all in a boat, except the dinosaurs, because GENESIS, STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.
Surely he can do this one, very simple task, right?
Right?
Anyone?
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“Me, I don't have a particular relationship with the Holy Spirit, and I don't have the information that you (the media) have.”
-Cardinal Paul Poupard, when asked who he thinks will be the next Pope
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