Saturday, February 23, 2013

Life on Mars


NASA
I HAVE APPLIED to be an astronaut member of the first human mission to
Mars.

Seriously.

You can apply, too, at this website.  It's privately-funded and it may never actually happen.  In fact, there's already a competing project that may beat it in to space.

At any rate, I recently submitted my first essay explaining why I want to go to Mars:

It’s almost easier for me to say why I don’t want to go to Mars.
I don’t want to go to Mars to be famous, to have my name in the history books, or to be “the first”.
I don’t want to go in order to make a major contribution to science.  That’s not my speciality.
I do, however, want to go… to tell the story of those who ARE making the incredible journey.
My profession is journalism.  While I lack the skills of an engineer, a geologist or a doctor, I can tell stories.
I want to be a witness to history, and to describe in detail for future generations the astonishing first journey to the Red Planet.
There were no scribes on the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria.  We do have ship’s logs and many other historical sources for Columbus’ voyage to the New World, but no detailed first-hand accounts provided by an impartial observer.
My goal would be to watch the human side of history – the challenges; the achievements; the drama.
For months, a small group of humans will be sealed in a cramped vessel, forced to interact only with each other and with absolutely no escape.
They will then arrive on a hostile world, where – if they survive the landing – they will be forced to battle elements never before encountered by humanity.
And they will never be able to return home.
Never again will anyone on this trip be able to see their loved ones in person.  Communications will be hampered by the distances involved; there will be no intimate phone calls or video chats.  No more home-cooked meals.  No adoring pets, laughing children or leisurely strolls on the beach.
It will be work.  Incredibly difficult, perilous work for all involved.  I, too, will participate as needed.  But I will also document the struggle, and the triumph of what will be the greatest achievement in human history.
I’m not afraid of leaving it all behind, and I’m not afraid of the risks involved.
You need me on this mission to provide the best account of the most important scientific mission ever attempted.

The truth of the matter, however, is that I just want to get the hell off this miserable planet.


READ THIS
That back trouble you've been having?  Blame your ancestors.  I mean, your really, really REALLY distant ancestors.

Hoo boy, so there's another big to-do at the Vatican ahead of the papal election conclave...